I have demons in me.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
