I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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