One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
