do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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