pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
