he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
