another moral hangover. fuck.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
