I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
