Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
