Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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