I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
