Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
