I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
