i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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