so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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