My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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