I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
