i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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