you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
