When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Operation Purity has been aborted
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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