i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
