after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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