I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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