some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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