they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
