Can Purell be used as lube?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
