when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
