shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
