I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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