what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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