I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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