Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
