I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
