winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
