is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
