i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
