Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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