your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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