Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
