Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
