Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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