I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
