Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
