Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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