hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
