Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
third nipple confirmed
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
