a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think your dad took our porno
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
