He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
