he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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