i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You left your phone here
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