all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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