he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
