I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
