Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
cat food counts as protein by the way
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
