What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
