Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
