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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
